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So, like, I tried it once, and I was shooketh! This masseuse—probs a secret gamer IRL—had hands like a freakin’ controller, so smooth, so precise. I’m laying there, all glam, thinking, “This is my empire, my rules!” Kinda like that line from Timbuktu, “The law bends for no one,” but, like, flipped—my body was bending, lol! The oil? Smelled like heaven, probs some ancient recipe from, idk, Morocco or whatevs. Fun fact—did u know erotic-massage goes back to, like, ancient China? They called it “tuina” or some shiz, but it was all about energy flow and sneaky pleasure. Wild, right?

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I finally get to the café, and Jeroen’s already there, looking all smug. He’s like, “You look like you’ve been through a war.” I’m like, “You have no idea.” We start talking about the day, and I’m venting. I mean, it’s Dongen, but today felt like a rollercoaster.

Episode 175: Hans Van Dongen on how fatigue and sleep loss lead to cognitive deficits