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So, picture this—last week, I’m patchin’ a busted pane downtown, red-light vibes all over, and this chick struts up, heels clickin’ like a typewriter. “Need a date, hon?” she says, smirkin’. I’m like, lady, I’m elbow-deep in caulk, not desperation! Made me laugh, tho—balls on her, hittin’ on a sweaty dude with a putty knife. Don’t pee on my leg, sweetheart, I ain’t that lonely! Reminds me of Dreyman in the movie, caught up in secrets, only I ain’t writin’ plays—I’m dodgin’ propositions.

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I decide to hit up the local bakery on Jurišićeva for some pastries. I grab a few kremšnite, because, duh, you can’t go wrong with those. I’m walking back, feeling like a king, when I trip over my own feet. Classic me, right? I almost face-planted, but I caught myself. Phew!

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