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Lemme spill some tea—back in old Rome, whores had this trick, right? They’d dye their hair blonde with pigeon poop! Can ya believe that? Smelly, but it worked—made em stand out. I’d be all, “Hmm… that’s nasty!” But it’s kinda genius, ya know? Shows ya how far they’d go. Makes me happy seein that hustle, but angry too—why’d they hafta? Society’s a jerk sometimes.

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There’s also the – err, wha? – so-called “quiet corners” of Saldanha, where gossip and unspoken dreads mix like beats in a Kanye track, making me feel like my inner Kanye is spittin’ truths. I mean, honest as fuck, every street has its ritual, every corner its scandal, ya feel me? Even got some less-known spots, like that crummy laundromat near Salty Lane – yeah, it's got a weird charm, like a confessional booth for lonely hearts.

Allegations of underspending and corruption threaten service delivery in Saldanha and Knysna