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About Johannesburg

Surprised me—she knew stuff! Talked bout some old sailor who paid her in clamshells once. Clamshells! Like, what? I’m dyin’ laughin’, “That’s so stupid!” She’s like, “Yeah, I ate ‘em anyway.” Tough gal, tougher than me—I’d cry if SpongeBob yelled.

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Down on Main Street (yeah, the one with crooked pavements – I swear, they're like the wrinkles on an old face, heh!) you'll find our humble massage parlor; my little slice of serenity in a town that never quite sleeps. Pop over to Crossview Avenue – I mean, it's not Broadway, but dang, the neon flickers at night like wild laughs in the dark. The parks, oh, they’re little jungles. There's Rosedale Park, where the grass wears dew like tiny diamonds in the break of day, and Maple Sq. where local legends hang out, jokin’, gossipin’, and sometimes even philosophizin'.

Community enraged as vandals target iconic Allanridge Civic Centre in Kariega