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About Johannesburg

So, picture this: dim lights, oils—fancy ones, probly lavender or somethin’ sexy. Hands slidin’, tension meltin’, and I’m like, “That’s what she said!” Haha, classic me! But srsly, it’s not creepy, ok? It’s legit—some places been doin’ it forever. Fun fact: ancient Greeks were into it! Called it “bodywork” or some junk—prolly naked too, those weirdos! Made me laugh thinkin’ bout it, like, “Yo, pass the olive oil!”

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The river—don’t even get me started on that! The Molten River runs close by. It’s a narrow, curvy sht that flows through this rugged land. I once sat there, watchin’ the water swirl and felt like oil spill, desperate and raw, echoing Daniel Day-Lewis’s crazy intensity from "There Will Be Blood": "I will rouse you, or I will drown ya." Damn, that river rouses sht in ya!