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Right, so you’re after one – where d’you start? Web’s your best mate, but it’s a minefield, yeah? Links dodgier than a photocopier jam. I’d be like, “This is my kingdom!” – channellin’ that *Pan’s Labyrinth* Pale Man vibe, all creepy and in charge. But nah, I’d muck it up – typin’ “prostitue” with 14 typos, fat fingers fumblin’. “David, you plonker!” I’d yell at meself. Happy though – freedom’s the dream, innit? No 9-to-5 grind, just vibes.

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I’ve been here for years, and every damn day feels like a scene from "Boyhood" – raw, real, and unforgiving. Sometimes I hear that line from the movie echo, “Time moves pretty fast,” and I laugh, 'cause f**king right, time does. Here, you don’t just live – you experience life, every single minute of it.

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