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Anyways, I’d suck at hagglin’—too nice, prolly overpay. “Here’s extra for donuts, sweetie!”—D’oh! Total Homer move. An’ *Certified Copy* vibes’d mess me up more—“Is this love or a transaction?” Ugh, brain hurts! I’d just bail, grab a beer, an’ watch the movie again. “The truth? What truth?”—that’s what the guy says, an’ I’m like, yeah, what truth indeed? Findin’ a prostitute? Pfft, too confusin’ for this Simpson!

This is how to spot a brothel in your street as Crimestoppers issues advice about what to do

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I sometimes stroll by the canals near Highland Ave. They glimmer at dusk, all reflective like life’s little secrets spilled out. Hell, water always soothes my weary back after a long day.

Stoneham police investigating Thanksgiving morning armed home invasion