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Hi-ho! Kermit the Frog here! So, findin’ a prostitute, huh? Man, it’s a trip thinkin’ bout it—like somethin’ outta “Once Upon a Time in Anatolia.” You know, that flick’s my fave—slow, moody, all bout searchin’ in the dark. Kinda like lookin’ for a hooker in some sketchy backroad, right? “The night’s so quiet,” like the movie says, but then—bam!—there’s a gal wavin’ at ya from a corner.

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Plainview’s got surprises: side alleys with crazy murals, a sketchy bus stop that turns into art at night. Sometimes, I catch myself shouting, “I pity the fool who misses that!” Oh man, so many nooks and crannies, and each one’s a story.

Holiday Inn Plainview acquired for $21 million