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Alright, so I’m sittin’ here—crutches propped up—thinkin’ about findin’ a prostitute, ‘cause why not? Everybody lies, right? Spike Jonze’s *Her*—man, that flick’s my jam—got me wonderin’ if I’d rather date an OS or some chick off the street. “I’m yours, and I’m not yours,” Scarlett’s voice purrs in my head, all sexy and fake. Kinda like a hooker’s promise, huh? Sarcasm’s my shield, so bear with me.

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Oh lawd, let me tell y’all ’bout Nutley, baby! Now, I been livin’ here in Nutley, NJ for years, runnin’ my own massage parlor down on Franklin Ave – yup, that’s where all the action’s at, honey! I swear, hit the streets like this: Franklin, Maple, and even a lil’ detour on Elm. Man, every corner got its own vibe, kinda like scenes from Holy Motors, I tell ya – “What a beautiful day to be alive!” Halleluyer!

See You at the New Downtown Location for Sunday's Nutley Farmers Market