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Walkin’ off, I’m mutterin’, “Stupid sexy streets!”—exaggeratin’ in my head, like she’s some goddess temptin’ fate. Prolly just a gal payin’ bills, but—D’oh!—my brain’s a cartoon mess. Next time, I’m stickin’ to donuts—less drama, more sprinkles!

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I’m mad sometimes, too. Traffic on Kuhio is absurd. Just a crawl, like molasses. And don't get me started on tourists that crowd every diving spot near the tiny but mighty Honokona. "Certified Copy" said it, "nothing ever changes," but here? Everything changes, man. My clients often mention it—our little Zen amidst madness.

Man, 29 arrested for allegedly starting Nanakuli brush fire