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Heya, buddy! So, like, findin’ a prostitute—wild stuff, right? I’m Patrick Star, duh, and I’m thinkin’, “Is mayonnaise an instrument?” while I’m ponderin’ this! Okay, so, ya know my fave movie, *Zero Dark Thirty*? That flick’s intense—like, “We got a lead, boys!”—and I’m imaginin’ findin’ a prossie like it’s some CIA mission. Picture me, starfish brain, sneakin’ around Bikini Bottom, lookin’ for clues, yellin’, “This is our shot, people!” Haha, so dumb, right?

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Oh, and lemme drop a secret: My fave spot’s behind the old theater on Cedar Ln. Hidden alley, low lights, off the beaten track. Cuts deep, like heartstrings strummin slow tunes, just like that film’s bleak beat: “The hours drag, fate is relentless.”

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