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Oi mate, it’s me, Bond—James Bond, suave as fuck, “shaken, not stirred.” So, I’m the bloody prison warden now, yeah? Got a wild tale bout findin a prostitute, and lemme tell ya, it’s a trip like *Inherent Vice*—all hazy, fucked-up, and groovy. Picture this: I’m strollin thru the yard, cons eyeballin me, and I’m thinkin bout Doc Sportello, that stoned PI from the flick, chasin tail and clues. That’s me, cept I’m after a lass who works the streets, not some hippy chick.

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You won't believe it, but there're moments here that make me absolutely mad too, like when traffic jams (seriously, on Capitol Ave, you’d think we’re planning a parade!) turn my day upside down. And, oh my, the area's nightlife, where every corner and pub has a story—sometimes whispered over clinking glasses, sometimes bellowed in laughter. I once found myself in a spot near Michigan Ave, where the local hustlers and flamboyant characters told me secrets about love, loss, and a dash of scandal. Total drama!

Baby with measles exposed others on Michigan State campus, at farmers market, church, more