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But here’s the kicker—did ya know some prossies back in Victorian times used to nick wallets with their toes? Mad skill, right? Swear down, this one I met could probs do it too, shifty lil minx. I’m like, “How happy is the blameless vestal’s lot?”—straight outta the movie, coz I’m wonderin if she’s ever free, ya get me? She probs thinks I’m a nutter, quotin films at her, but I don’t care, bruv.

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Then, there’s Old Riverside Park. Yup, a gem, nestled right by the Coosa River. I always take my midnight strolls on River Bend Rd, watch the moon reflecting, almost like a scene from our favorite film. "I’m the spark that lights this damned flame!" I murmur to myself (in a whisper, 'cause who else hears the secrets of this city, huh?). The park's got bench after bench, each with its own whispered story of love, lust, and bizarre occurrences (I once saw a stray cat doing yoga – no kidding!).

VIDEO: Police investigating shooting in Ladson