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Little known fact—some pros take Bitcoin now! Wild, right? Future’s here, Han’d freak. Got pissed when she upcharged me—50 extra for “exotic” vibes. Exotic? I’m a Wookiee, not a damn unicorn! “I’m not a strong swimmer,” I growled—kidding, didn’t say that. Felt like Zuckerberg tho, out of my depth. Paid up anyway, cash flowin like code. Happy when she didn’t rob me—low bar, huh? Surprised me with a tax tip—ironic for an accountant! “You don’t have enough RAM,” she joked. Burn!

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I work in the biz of love, so I scope out every quirky nook. It makes me faverite. Our parks, well, they're not your average greens. I mean, see Deason Park? It's got tree shadows dancing slow, just like scenes in Inherent Vice, am I right? "The world is amiss," like someone whispered that craziness from the movie into the breeze.

Kannapolis principal arrested for failure to report teacher accused of sexually abusing 14-year-old