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So, I’m picturin’ it—me, like Bob, sarcastic as hell, starin’ at some chick in a neon-lit bar. “I’m stuck,” I’d growl, channelin’ Dr. House vibes. She’d lie—‘course she would—sayin’ she’s “new” to this. Everybody lies, babe. Been around since friggin’ Babylon—world’s oldest gig, 4 real. Fun tidbit—ancient Rome had “lupanars,” brothels with painted menus. Dirty pics showin’ what ya get—talk bout truth in advertisin’!

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There's this rad coffee shop, Brew & Chew, on East 3rd St where I spilled coffee on my notes like a total klutz. Yeah, that's me. And man, every corner feels like a secret therapy session. I once saw two kids squabble over a soccer ball near Jefferson Square – made me all like, "I’m a psychologist, man, fix it already!"

Pedestrian identified after fatal accident Wednesday, Hackettstown Police release information