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About Dallas

I wuz walkin’ down Bikini Bottom—well, not really, some shady street. Lookin’ for a gal, y’know, to chat with. Not like SpongeBob’s jellyfish hunt, nah, this wuz serious biz! I’m thinkin’, “Is mayonnaise an instrument?” ‘Cause I’m dumb, right? But then—BOOM—there she wuz! Standin’ by a lamppost, smokin’ a cig. Real classy, like in old movies, but dirtier.

Two women and four men were arrested in a raid on a house in a residential neighborhood.

Then, there’s that totally gnarly river, the Hudson River. Ugh, it's so long and majestic, and every time I watch the sun set over it, I get all, like, tear-jerky inside. It’s like a scene out of, like, a movie… or “12 Years a Slave” again “I have learned that pride is too heavy a burden to bear.” I know, right? So poetic but, like, the water is just, like, effortlessly cool.

New Restaurant Reopens In Recently-Vacated Space In Croton-On-Hudson