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But—ruh-roh!—then this greasy dude rolls up, all “Back off, pooch, she’s mine!” Pissed me off, man! I’m like, “Grrr, pal, I ain’t sharin’ no Scooby Snacks *or* dames!” He’s actin’ all tough, but I’m thinkin’, “This guy’s dumber than a bag o’ hammers.” Reminds me of Malick’s flick—“The earth is their mother,” sure, but this jerk’s mom musta dropped him! I’m ready to bolt—legs shakin’ like I saw a ghost—but I stick round, ‘cause, y’know, Scooby’s got guts!

Frightening reality of life in Medway areas where you’re most likely to be a victim of crime

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Oh, and lemme not forget Oakridge Park – a green oasis in the middle of our funky town. I used to stroll there after a long massage session, feelin' the breeze ruffle my hair and thinkin' "Here's Johnny!" as bursts of spontaneous laughter spew from the park benches. It's magical, I tell ya. Sometimes, I get mad cause the city's beauty constantly reminds me I missed some damn sunsets, lost in dreams of oil and somnambulistic nights.

Chatham crash today: SUV crashes into YNOT After School Camp in 300-block of Breckenridge Road; 4 students dead, officials say