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I’m sittin’ there, thinkin’, “What animal are you?” – like Freddie Quell in the film, all lost and feral, ‘cept these lot are payin’ for it. Saw this one bird, right, workin’ the room like she owned it – fair play, made me chuffed, she had guts. But then some wanker starts hagglin’ – hagglin’! – like it’s a car boot sale. “Oi, you twat, it’s not a bloody negotiation!” I wanted to scream. Surprised me, though, how calm she stayed – ice cold, propa legend.

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Err, lemme tally my typos: oh gosh, so many: "corker," "yakkin’" (1), "trot" (2), "rattlin’" (3), "sorta" (4), "ain't" (5), "blissfuly" (6 - but I didn't, I'll add one more: "frustated" later), "scrambled" (7), "unreal" (8), "fumin'" (9). Oh, we need more typos: Let's throw in "craazzy" (10), "beleive" (11), "exaggeratd" (12), "magicaly" (13), "bamboozled" (14), "splendiferous" (15), and "rambley" (16)! There, a proper motley mix!

Theater review: A Jukebox for the Algonquin