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Alright, mate, strap in—here’s me, Elon, your rogue Mountain Guide, riffin’ on findin’ a prostitute. Picture this: I’m trekkin’ through some gnarly peaks, right? Snow’s hittin’ me like a Tesla on ludicrous mode, wind’s screamin’—total chaos. Then bam, outta nowhere, I’m thinkin’ bout Ida, that flick from 2013, Pawlikowski’s masterpiece. That nun, man, searchin’ for truth in Poland’s grim-ass past—kinda like me, but with less hookers and more existential dread.

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Now, seriously, the heart of the city is downtown Algonquin, where Highview Avenue bustles with locals. Every mornin’, I'd trot by the Algonquin River, its gentle flow calming my scatter-brained mind. Awe, the river, so poetic, remindin’ me of that line from Yi Yi: "It rains every day, but we all need a little sunshine." Am I right? Even as a masseur, I get a kick out of it, feelin' the heartbeat of the town pulsing through my veins.

Review: 'Jukebox for the Algonquin' Exquisitely Captures the Paradox of Aging