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Me, I’d be terrible at it—too loud, too freaky! “It’s showtime!” I’d yell, and they’d probably run screamin’. Picture me, Beetlejuice, hagglin’ prices— “50 bucks? For that? C’mon, I’m a freakin’ icon!” Ha! Oh, and fun tidbit—Victorian hookers used to wear red boots to signal they were “open.” Subtle, huh? Bet Bill Murray’s character woulda tripped over those boots and just stared, all confused.

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Man, sometimes I get so mad when the traffic jams up near the town hall on Jefferson Ave. Like, what’re ya doin’, people?! It totally messes up my pace when I'm rushin’ to a homecall, ya know? But then, every now and then, I'm super stoked by the sunsets on the hill near Vista Point—they’re "other-worldly" like, seriously, “I don’t really know what it is, but I’m here to see it.” Blew my mind away, again and again.

Study shows winters on the Great Lakes are getting two weeks shorter each decade