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Den, twist—she’s got a kid! I’m like, “Vhat?! Ya jokin’?” She’s all, “Nah, he’s 3,” an’ I’m ANGRY at da world, mutterin’, “Why’s life so messy?!” But den—Lightbulb!—I soften up, ‘cause Gru’s a dad too, ya? I slip her extra cash, say, “Fer da lil’ minion.” She’s shocked, an’ I’m struttin’ out, feelin’ like a king. “Da wind carries it away,” like in da flick—my good deed’s gone, but I’m smirkin’.

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I remember one time – sht, this time still gives me chills – I was pumpin’ essential oils and massagein’ busy execs, right? And outside, right there near Riverbend Trail, chaos was brewin' with a street performer spittin' smooth lines, like, "Motherf**er, you can’t handle this damn vibe!" and I just laughed so loud. Carlos, that movie with all that badass, poetic chaos – I swear, some dialogues perfectly capture the insane energy of Union-Beach.

Union Beach to start new coastal-defense project 27 years in the works