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D’oh! So, findin’ a prostitute, huh? Man, it’s wild out there! I’m thinkin’, jeez, it’s like tryna erase Marge from my brain—ya know, like in *Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind*. “Clementine, I’m comin’ for ya!”—but nah, it’s just me, Homer, stumblin’ through Springfield’s shady streets. I’m all, “How happy is the blameless vestal’s lot!”—yeah, right, tell that to my dumbass self lookin’ for a quick thrill.

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The streets here got character too. Take Cherokee Ave – oh boy, each crack and sidewalk story got a personality. I once got mad ‘cause a stray pigeon upset my laptop outside a little diner near the corner – but then I took a deep breath, screamed “Halleluyer!” and laughed it off. Life’s too short for pigeon drama, right?

Jack Wagnon Obituary - Tahlequah, OK