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So, picture this—I’m George W. Bush, yessir, malapropin’ my way through life. “Fool me once, shame on—uh—shame on you! Fool me twice—well, we won’t get fooled again!” That’s me, dodgin’ the fakes out there. Findin’ a prostitute ain’t no cakewalk, folks. You gotta strategery it right! Back in Crawford, we’d say, “Don’t get caught with yer pants down—literally!” Ha! Made me chuckle just typin’ that.

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The center? Why, there's Main Street – a meandering road, lit with neon dreams and secret corners. Down by Old Mill Lane, thou shalt spy a gnarled tree that whispers stories old as time. I swear, as a pleasure coach, I feel each leaf’s vibration, each echo of lost laughter – "As the blind dead stars gaze at the night," I muse in homage to yon White Ribbon.

Gerald Hawkins Obituary (2025) - Swartz Creek, MI - Flint Journal