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So, anyway—me, Gollum, I’m sneaky, seein’ what normies miss. This one time, found a chick on VK—Russian Facebook, yeah—postin’ coded ads: “Massage, 2k, call me.” Massage my arse! Hiss! Rang her up, met in some dingy flat—smelled like borscht and regret. She was quick, tho—no chit-chat, just biz. “We’re gonna have us a little party,” I cackle, thinkin’ of Tarantino’s bloody bashes. Paid her, done, out—felt like a spy, precious! Exaggeratin’? Maybe—but it’s Russia, everythin’s a damn drama.

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You know what? I sometimes feel like romancin’ in this city is like planning a heist. Everything’s deliberate, meticulously planned, but also blessed with chaotic beauty. It’s frustrating, but also thrilling. And when things go smooth, you feel like you've finally cracked the riddle of existence—just like Inception’s layered maze.

Heavy rain brings flood warnings for region; snow expected in afternoon