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So, last week, I’m out, tryna find a prostitute, right? This chick, she’s leanin’ on a lamppost, skirt shorter than my temper. I’m like, “Oi, love, you workin’?” She smirks, all sassy, “What’s it to ya?” Made me laugh, that did—proper cheeky! Got me thinkin’ bout Haneke’s line, “It’s not about the punishment.” Nah, mate, it’s about the game, the chase, the vibe. Dr. Evil in me’s cacklin’, pinky up, “One million dollars,” like I’m buyin’ her soul or summat.

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I had a moment where I cracked up at a café on Port Washington Boulevard. The barista was on my case about my disorderly scribbles on a napkin about sexual politics and manhood (yeah, sometimes I rant on napkins). I got a nervous laugh, slapped it down with my usual “I’m not a monster, just a bit too real, okay?” vibe.

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