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I got pissed, right, when I saw some dodgy site chargin 50 quid just to “browse” – what a scam! Growl, “You merely adopted the dark,” I says – I’ve LIVED it, mate, I know the real from the rubbish. So, tip one: don’t pay upfront, ever. Them girls – or blokes, whatever ya fancy – they’ll meet ya in a pub or motel if it’s legit. Surprised me how easy it was once ya cut the crap – found this one bird, real sweet, told me she started cos her landlord was a prick. Felt bad, but she was laughin, sayin, “Cash is cash, luv.”

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So, if you're coming to La-Habra (us), brace yourself. Here, every cracked road is a story waiting to be told. And sometimes, those stories make you feel both happy and mad at the same time. Kinda like life itself. Enjoy the madness, my friend!

1 person, 2 pets killed in garage fire at single-story home in La Habra