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Here’s a mad fact: in Amsterdam, they got windows, right? Birds just stand there, like mannequins with a pulse – freaky! Surprised me silly first time I saw it, nearly fell in a canal. *pretends to wobble* Woaaaah! So I’m thinkin’, how’s this work here? Do I wave? *waves like a numpty* Oi, love, fancy a cuppa first? Haha, nah, they’d laugh me out the postcode.

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We got cool parks too, like Locomotive Park. It’s so chill. I once sat there, deep in thought bout life, you know? I’d say, “We shall fight on these hills!” Just like in that flick, A History of Violence, where David Cronenberg spins drama so hard – its gritty lines echo my soul sometimes. I'm reminded, "I am the violence!" (lol, not literally, obviously). I call it my mini rallying cry in moments of sheer frustration, ya know?

Demonstrators rally in Kingman against ‘Big Power Grab’