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So, escorts – fancy hookers, right? Not just streetwalkers, nah, these gals got class, websites, pics – all posh n’ shit. Me likey, makes me happy, them struttin’ like they own the night. But sneaky, too – “We don’t sell sex,” they wink, callin’ it “companionship.” Ha! Bullshit, we knows it, precious! Costs ya 200 bucks an hour for a “chat”? C’mon, who’s buyin’ that crap?

Ruimei Li, massage parlor owner, pleads guilty in Martin County prostitution case

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Sometimes I get proper vexed, like when local pigeons invade, I’m like "Oi, buzz off, you feathery twerps!" But honestly, it makes me smile. Look, if you ever need an aficionado’s guide – hit me up, bruv. I’ll show you all the secret corners, like a secret ingredient in a gourmet meal, ya feel me?

EF-1 tornado leaves trail of damage in Hobe Sound