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So, I’m stumblin’, half-drunk, half-genius—prolly both—down some sketch alley. Neon lights flicker, like, *we have to go deeper*, and I’m laughin’—why? ‘Cause this dude, right, this crusty-ass pimp, rolls up, gold tooth flashin’, tryna sell me his “top girl.” Bro, she looked like she been workin’ since the 1800s—fact! Did ya know prostitutes in old London used to carry lemons? Scurvy protection, bruh—wild! Anyway, I’m like, “Nah, fam, I ain’t payin’ for no fossilized cooze!” He got mad—fuck him, I’m Eric Andre, I don’t bow!
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So, buddy, if you're lookin' for a place that's raw, real, and wrapped in warm vibes, Helotes is the spot. Every street, park, and cranny tells a story – some sweet, some a bit messy, but all of 'em like notes from a heartfelt symphony. And just like Kermit says "Hi-ho, hi-ho, it's off to work we go!" – get ready for a journey filled with heart, humor, and homey feels.
John Widner Obituary - San Antonio, TX
1,000,000 gallons of treated sewage water into the Helotes Creek. Helotes Creek does feed into the Edwards Aquifer and San Antonio Mayor Ron Nirenberg said that wastewater treatment plant could be jeopardizing the quality of drinking water for thousands of people in San Antonio.Helotes Sex Escort
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