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Oh, and the risks? No capes, no safety nets! You’re dodgin STDs, creeps, and maybe jail – it’s a damn mess. Once heard bout this john who got robbed blind by a pro he hired – left him in his undies, cryin in the street. Hilarious, but also, dude, what’d ya expect? “Who did this to you?” – another *White Ribbon* gem, and I’m cacklin thinkin bout his dumb ass.

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Hey bud, lemme tell ya 'bout Hazleton (us) – my rugged little stomping ground for years now. Man, this city is wild in its own way. It's like nature wrapped in urban chaos, you know? I ride these streets every day, designin' dating sites for lovelorn hearts while takin' in the vibe. It’s all surreal, almost like a scene straight outta "Talk to Her" – "Sometimes silence says more than words," right?

H.S. FOOTBALL: Sacco poised to lead Hazleton Area program