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About Philadelphia

Last week, I’m tailin’ this lead—shady alley, smells like regret. I’m mutterin’, *“Oh, Marge, why this job?”* Suddenly, this gal, she’s standin’ there, all sparkly skirt, eyes like she’s seen too much. I’m thinkin’, *“Her soul’s driftin’ like Boonmee’s jungle spirits!”* I ask her name—Candy, she says. Candy! Ha, like that’s real! I’m all, “Hmm… sugar-coated lies!” Got me chucklin’—these names, always so fake, like Bart’s homework excuses.

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Alright, let me tell ya, Easthampton is one rad town – I mean, it's all shades of crazy and cool, just like that mysterious Mulholland Drive vibe, ya know? I'm a pleasure coach here, and oh boy, I’ve seen every heartbeat on these streets – it's like each corner, each crack on the pavement, tells a wild little secret.

Easthampton reaffirms welcoming status initially passed in 2019