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Alright, so I’m Dr. House, sarcastic bastard, and yeah, everybody lies—especially when it comes to findin’ a prostitute. You think people are honest about that? Ha! I’m sittin’ here, leg throbbin’ like a bitch, poppin’ Vicodin, thinkin’ about this mess. Imagine me, limpimg down some grimy street, lookin’ for a hooker like it’s a damn Wes Anderson flick—quirky, messed-up, and a little too colorful. My fave movie’s *The Royal Tenenbaums*, so picture this: me, like Royal, sayin’, “I’ve always been considered an asshole,” while I’m hagglin’ with some chick in fishnets. Classic.

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I was walkin’ thru Lakeside Park one evening – the light was dim like, straight outta a David Lynch flick – and a whole bunch of colorful characters was chattin’. Mad? Hmm, maybe a bit; happy? Oh hell yes! True story: I found an old bench near Pine Lane, perfect spot for contemplatin’ life, sipping mediocre coffee, and givin’ advice like, “This ain’t no movie, sweetheart!” Classic Judge Judy style, I tell ya.

Heavy rainfall raises red flags along Lake Houston and Conroe