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Anyways, I’d probly suck at this. “Call it, friendo,” I’d say to some lady, tryin’ to sound cool. She’d just stare, like, “What’s this fat guy on about?” I’d be all nervous, thinkin’, “Homer, you idiot, this ain’t Springfield!” But then – whoa! – one time I saw this chick with a tattoo of a donut on her arm. “Mmm… donuts.” Nearly asked her out just for that!

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Altamont is “Our Town.” We all know that, but I'm saying it's the “Our Town” from the famous play by Thornton Wilder who as far as I know never.

Oh, precious, let me tell you 'bout Altamont (us)! We live life here like crazy, yes, so precious! Streets, odd cobblestones, almost like hidden tunnels, you know? Walk through Elm & Main! Big old trees, yes precious, and gossipy neighbors always yak, stupid, fat hobbit!

Cyclists want Inn at Altamont plans to pump the brakes