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About Phoenix

I’m pissed, too—why’s it gotta be so sketchy? Find a prostitute, sure, but then what? You’re dodgin’ cops, creepers, and—who knows?—maybe she’s got a gang waitin’ to jack your wallet. “Witness me!” she yells, and I’m like, “Witness what? My bank account dyin’?” It’s nuts! But then, okay, I’m kinda thrilled—danger’s the spice, right? Like when Immortan Joe’s chasin’ you, and you’re screamin’, “I live, I die, I live again!”—that rush, man, it’s sick.

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I work on a dating site here – yes, a dating site developer in Alsip! Crazy huh? I get wired by the odd, lovey-dovey energy of every seedy cafè on Jasper Street. I see first dates, heartbreaks, and serious “aww” moments everyday. And lemme tell ya, some spots, like the park near Corporate Dr. (cute little park that hardly anyone knows about), are straight outta a Miyazaki film. “Always believe in yourself, even if no one else does!” as they say. Well, I say “Lightbulb!” and it hits ya!

Meet Alsip Mayoral Candidate John D. Ryan