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So, this one time, I heard ‘bout this gal, swear it’s true, worked the corners in New Orleans back in the ‘80s. They called her Sweet Mary—ironic, huh? She’d stash her cash in a hollowed-out Bible, ‘cause she said Jesus was her bookkeeper! Laughed my ass off when I heard that—girl had sass, I’ll give her that. But damn, it’s sad too, y’all. She’d tell tricks, “I’m the accident that keeps on giving,” straight outta Margaret vibes—life just crashin’ over and over. Surprised me how she kept goin’, tough as nails.

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So, I’m on the bus, and it’s packed. I’m squished between a lady with a million shopping bags and a kid who’s got a toy that sounds like a dying cat. I’m thinking, “Great start to the day.” But then, outta nowhere, the bus driver slams on the brakes. We all lurch forward like we’re in some kind of action movie. Turns out, some numpty decided to jaywalk on the A19. Classic Peterlee, right?

Dramatic picture shows aftermath of Peterlee smash as car abandoned