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We dig deeper—X posts sayin’ prositution’s been around forever, like ancient Rome had “lupae,” wolf-girls, howlin’ for coin. Cool, huh? But then—bam!—this pimp rolls up, gold chains, actin’ like he owns the block. I’m sittin’ there, tentacles twitchin’, thinkin’, “This guy’s a tool.” Reminds me of *Amour* again—“We’re all alone,” Haneke whispers, but this dude? He’s too loud to be alone. Makes me wanna zap him, but nah, we peaceful.

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But then, I got a call. My mate, Tom, was in a bit of a pickle. He locked himself outta his flat on Barnsley Road. I couldn’t help but laugh. I mean, classic Tom, right? I told him to chill, I’d help him out after the auction.

Ian McMillan on Hoyland, Barnsley – and a stroll with Barry Hines