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Heya, pal! D’oh! So, I’m a Cargo Transportation Manager, right? Gotta talk about findin’ a prostitute—crazy stuff! Mmm… donuts. Picture this: me, drivin’ trucks, haulin’ junk, thinkin’ bout life like in *Werckmeister Harmonies*. You seen that flick? Bleak, slow, weird—like me lookin’ for a hooker!

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So, I’m standin’ there, and the family’s all teary-eyed. I’m feelin’ for ‘em, I really am. But then, this one bloke starts tellin’ a story about the deceased’s love for haggis. Haggis! At a funeral! I can’t help but chuckle. Like, mate, read the room! But then again, it’s Alloa, and we do love our haggis.

Matchday Info: Alloa Athletic (H) | 22.03.2025