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Little fact for ya—didja know some prostitutes in history were spies? Sneaky bitches, stealin’ secrets in bed! Imagine that—fuckin’ and snitchin’. Wild, right? Anyway, back to my story. This other gal, young, nervous, kept glancin’ around. Thought, “She’s new, poor thing.” Reminded me of *Leviathan* again—“Living’s no picnic.” Fuckin’ truth, huh? Wanted to zap her outta there, beam her up, y’know? But nah, just watched, feelin’ useless.

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But then, oh boy, the next customer is a nightmare. This guy comes in, all loud and obnoxious. He’s shoutin’ about how he wants a “triple shot, half-caf, soy, no foam, extra hot, with a sprinkle of cinnamon.” I’m just standin’ there, mouth agape. Like, mate, are you ordering coffee or a potion? I’m tryin’ to keep my cool, but inside I’m fumin’. I mean, who even orders like that? I’m just a barista, not a barista-sorcerer!

£4m Welsh Wound Innovation Centre launch in Llantrisant