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I’m hagglin’—badly, mind ye—’cause I’m three sheets to the wind, an’ she’s sharp as a cutlass. “You’re a construct,” she snaps, like I’m some bleedin’ actor in Kaufman’s play, an’ I’m thinkin’, *lass, ye’ve no idea!* That got me riled, aye—don’t ye dare call Cap’n Jack a puppet! But then she winks, an’ I’m happy as a clam, ‘cause she’s got sass, an’ I like ‘em feisty. “Savvy?” I slur, an’ she rolls her eyes—fair ‘nough!

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But then, I get a call. It’s my boss. He’s like, “You need to handle a claim for a car accident on Hexham Bridge.” Great, just what I need! I rush over, and it’s chaos. Two cars, both looking worse for wear. I’m trying to take notes, but everyone’s shouting. “It was his fault!” “No, it was hers!” I’m just standing there, thinking, “Why can’t people just chill?”

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