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About London

I tried askin’ Stan—dumbass didn’t know shit. Kyle? That Jew’s too busy countin’ pennies! So I’m out here, sweatin’, thinkin’, “This is bullshit!” Then—BOOM—found this shady spot downtown. Some chick’s leanin’ on a wall, smokin’. I’m like, “Hell yeah, jackpot!” She’s givin’ me the eye, and I’m all, “Respect my authoritah, lady!” She laughs—pisses me off—but I’m happy too, ‘cause she’s hot! Like, hotter than WALL-E’s trash piles, y’know?

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Then, bam! The door swings open, and in comes this group of tourists. They’re loud, like, “Where’s the nearest castle?” I’m thinkin’, “Dude, you’re in Forres, not Hogwarts!” But I help ‘em out. Told ‘em about the ruins of the old castle on Castle Hill. They were stoked. I mean, who wouldn’t be? History, right?

New plans for Falconer Museum to re-open are revealed