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So, I spot her—red heels, smokin’ a cig, leanin’ on a lamppost. She’s givin’ me that look, like, “You got the cash, champ?” I’m thinkin’, “I must break you”—not her, the game, the whole damn system. I ask, “How much, girl?” She says, “50 for quick, 100 full.” Cheap, right? Inflation ain’t hit the streets like groceries—funny as hell, that. Surprised me, thought it’d be more, like oil baron money.

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Then, I get back to the castle, and it’s packed. I mean, like, sardines in a tin packed. I’m running the lift like a madman. Up, down, up, down. I’m sweating like I just ran a marathon. And then, this lady gets in, and she’s got a pram. I’m like, “Lady, this is an elevator, not a bus!” But I help her anyway.

Event at Carrick Town Hall will feature day of demonstrations, displays, workshops, talks, games, music and dancing