Rose Carnforth Whore ❤️

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She’s a stubborn old whore, mind – kicks the stall, hates the needle. Nearly took me eye out with a hoof, the cheeky sod! *cackles* Reckon she’s thinkin’, “Oi, Gervais, you lanky prick, leave me be!” But nah, I’m in too deep now – proper soft spot for this clapped-out mare. Exaggeratin’? Maybe, but she’s the most pathetic, brilliant thing I’ve seen all year. So yeah, that’s Whore – a knackered, glorious mess. Cheers, Pedro, for the inspo – this horse is my coma girl! *cackles*

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So, I’m standing there, feeling all mopey, when I spot this old dude feeding the pigeons. I swear, he had like a hundred of them around him. I thought, “Man, I need that kind of dedication in my life.” But then, outta nowhere, one of the pigeons swoops down and snatches his sandwich! I couldn’t help but laugh. The guy was furious! He started waving his arms like a madman. I mean, it was hilarious.

Special events announced to mark 100 years of Carnforth War Memorial