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So I’m chattin her up, all smooth-like. “Fancy a dance, love?” She smirks, “Only if you’re payin, tiger.” Fair play, I laugh—gotta admire the hustle. But here’s the kicker: some punters think they’re in charge. Nah, fam, she’s the one dodgin fists like Zhang Ziyi with that blade. “Yield, and live,” I whisper, half-jokin, half-hopin she don’t clock me one. Exaggeratin? Maybe, but I swear one time this bird had a pet snake—called it “Mr. Wuxia.” Mental.

Police raid suspected brothel in Cannock

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We finally get outside, and it’s just a drill. Phew! But then I see this cute dog. A proper fluffy one, waggin’ its tail. I’m like, “Aww, look at that!” Totally forgot about the alarm for a sec. But then, guess what? The owner’s like, “He’s a bit nippy.” Nippy? Really? I’m not tryin’ to get bitten today, thanks!

Cannock town centre buildings bought to aid regeneration plan