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I love me some WALL-E, that lil trash-bot findin love in the muck. Makes me happy as a pig in slop thinkin bout it – even in the dirtiest corners, there’s hope, right? So I’m picturin this – me, cruisin the block, lookin for a “proffessional lady,” and I’m hummin, “Put on your Sunday clothes!” from the movie. Total nutcase move, but I’d do it, swear! Thing is, these gals ain’t robots – they got hearts, stories, scars. That hits me hard, y’all.

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But then, I hear this loud noise. It’s a bunch of kids playin’ soccer in the street. They’re kickin’ the ball around like it’s the World Cup. One of ‘em kicks it too hard, and BAM! Right through my shop window! Glass everywhere! I’m fumin’. “Hey! Watch where you kick that thing!” They just laugh and run off. Kids these days, I swear.

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