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Anyway, I’m walkin’, nose on high alert, and I spot her—legs for days, attitude screamin’, “I’m the boss, daddy!” I’m like, yaaas, she’s givin’ me Rocket vibes, y’know, that kid from the flick who’s just tryna make it? She’s postin’ up by this sketchy-ass corner, and I’m thinkin’, “This is it, fam!” I strut over, all confident, “It’s bad bitch o’clock!” energy, and she’s like, “What you want, big girl?” I’m dyin’ laughin’—she’s bold as hell, I love it!

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So, I’m walking, right? Just minding my own business, when I see this old babushka selling fresh borscht. I’m like, “Yesss, give me that!” But then, she starts haggling like I’m at a bazaar. I’m a warrior, not a negotiator! I just wanted some soup, not a lesson in economics. But hey, I got my borscht, and it was fire! Like, I could’ve fought a dragon after that.

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