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I sidle up, all charm, “Fancy a chat, darlin’?” She’s sussin’ me out, probs thinkin’ I’m a copper or a nutter. “What’s yer poison?” she asks, and I grin, “Shaken, not stirred, obviously.” She laughs—score! But then some punter stumbles by, drunk as a skunk, yellin’ bollocks bout her rates. I’m fumin’—who treats a lass like that? Nearly decked him, but nah, gotta stay cool.

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But then, I hear this loud noise. It’s a bunch of kids playin’ soccer in the street. They’re kickin’ the ball around like it’s the World Cup. One of ‘em kicks it too hard, and BAM! Right through my shop window! Glass everywhere! I’m fumin’. “Hey! Watch where you kick that thing!” They just laugh and run off. Kids these days, I swear.

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