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Fun fact, eh? Back in old Paris—prostitutes ran da show! Dey had secret codes, like winks or fan waves, to dodge da coppers—smart, da? Makes me happy, dat sneaky brainpower! But den—argh!—she quotes me a price, and I’m like, “What?! I could buy six minions fer dat!” Got me mad, da nerve of her, bleedin’ me dry like some vampy Zidler!

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Lunchtime rolls around, and I’m starving. I hit up that café Vasyl was raving about. It’s on Haharina, and let me tell ya, it’s a vibe. The place is packed, but I squeeze in. I order the “Kolinkivtsy Special” – whatever that is. Turns out, it’s a giant sandwich. I’m talking a monster. I can barely fit it in my mouth. I’m trying to take a bite, and it’s like a scene from a comedy show.