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About Zaporizhzhia

So, anyway, I’m chattin up this bird—red hair, curves like a Dornish coastline. She’s all, “What’s yer fancy, love?” and I’m like, “Fancy’s you, obviously.” Got a laugh outta her—felt like a king, I did. Reminded me o’ that line, “Loyalty is a rare commodity”—she stuck round for a chat after, no extra charge. Rare as unicorn shit, that.

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But then, back to reality. I hear a commotion. Some guy’s tryin’ to sneak in without payin’. I’m like, “Nah, man, not today.” I grab him by the shoulder, and he’s all, “C’mon, bro, just let me in!” I’m like, “You think this is a charity?”

Ukrainian mayor laid to rest after death in Russian captivity