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I’d finally spot one, okay? Some chick in fishnets, leanin’ on a wall, and I’m like, “Oh god, oh god, what now?” I’d stumble over, all nervous, sayin’, “Hey, uh, you workin’?” She’d smirk—SMIRK!—and I’d be furious! “Don’t judge me, lady, I herd sheep all day!” I’d haggle, too, ‘cause I’m cheap— “Twenty bucks, that’s it, take it or leave it!” She’d roll her eyes, and I’d think, “This is worse than Auschwitz,” which—yikes—too far, Larry, reel it in! But that’s my brain, ping-pongin’ like Saul’s, from panic to dark humor.
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But then, I see a couple of teenagers by the swings. They’re throwin’ rocks into the water, and one of ‘em hits a duck. I’m like, “Seriously? You’re gonna mess with a duck?” I march over, channeling my inner dad. “Hey! Leave the poor duck alone!” They look at me like I’m crazy. Whatever.
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