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So here’s the deal—financially speakin’, hirin’ a prostitute’s a disaster. You’re throwin’ cash out the window—poof!—gone! No 401(k) for that, no tax write-off, nothin’. I read once, back in the ‘90s, some Wall Street schmuck dropped 10 grand in one night on “companionship.” Ten grand! Coulda bought a yacht—or at least a decent sandwich. Made me mad as hell—wastin’ money like that? I’d rather choke on my own tie. But then, I get it—some folks got urges, they’re lonely, whatever. Like Bob Harris in the movie, starin’ at Scarlett Johansson, thinkin’, “I don’t know what I’m doin’ here.” Except it’s not Scarlett—it’s some chick named Candy with a fake tan.

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So, I’m juggling calls, emails, and trying to make sense of this chaos. I’m pacing around the office, and I swear, I must’ve walked the length of Vänern like five times. My boss walks in, and he’s all calm, sipping his tea. I’m like, “Dude, how are you so chill?” He just shrugs. Ugh, I need that zen vibe!

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